Dance First. Think Later.

If I hear one more Colbie Caillat song on my Pandora Station, I'm suing.  That's not what this is about, but I thought you should know I'm taking legal-action soon.

I Digress.

At 24 years old, I don't believe that I should have to type something profound.  That being said, I have put pressure on myself and thus this will not be an esoteric work of writing.  Last night after I spent some time with my childhood friends Kristen and Lauren, and after I read some Elements of Style, I started thinking about the things I used to do with my time and wondered why I don't do them anymore.

My name is Brooke Randolph and I am one eccentric genius character.  I'm animated.  I'm quiet.  I talk to myself - aloud.  I'll talk to anyone.  I don't care for fairy tales.  I painted the sky amethyst when it should be blue.  Figuratively speaking, I held the world in the palm of my left hand while I held a cup of coffee with my right.

I used to just leave.  Fall off of the face of the earth and leave.  I would book off-the-cuff miniature vacations, turn my phone off, and hope you would see me in a few days.  I very rarely fall off the face of the earth anymore.  Last time I disappeared was in May; it's time to abscond to a new location for a brief period.  My friend Chase always enjoys how I start off conversations with "One time I was in..."  My poor parents don't like that trait too much.

I used to be fearless of people, their words and their reactions.  One bout with heartbreak and rejection changed my perspective on my feelings.  What I hate most is how right now I let something sit and dwindle because I can't get over how it felt that one time I got turned away.  It's time to man-up.

I used to wake up early (early depending on what time of year) every morning and go for a run until the sun started to rise.  Once it started to rise, I stopped, sat down, and took it in.  Most people miss out on the sunrise.  God made it just a beautiful as  the sunset but it takes the cake because it starts a new day.

I used to take swing dancing.  I used to karaoke.  I used to eat lunch in a restaurant by myself with a book.  I used to jump in pick-up basketball games with guys I've never met before.  I used to sing at the top of my lungs with the windows rolled down.  I used to lie on a blanket at the park and stare through the leaves.  I used to talk to strangers in line at Starbucks because I liked their shirt.  Wait, I still do that.

I used to just dance.

But really, who cares what I used to do?  There's so much more left to do.

I feel like my eccentric genius left the building about a year ago.

I started this blog this afternoon and stopped at the above sentence.  I then went to church tonight and God spoke to me.  Personally spoke to me.  He spoke to each of us individually through our Young Adults Pastor and it was powerful.  When he got to me he told me that the word God has given him associated with me does not make sense.  Me and that word do not seem to go together - Fear.  Do not fear.  I am not the one bringing you fear.  Someone else is.  Do not fear.  And then I cried like a baby, again.  I cried a lot tonight.  (Please revert back to paragraph on fear.)

Well, the Man said it, and I will not fear.  God is good.

If you don't hear from me for an extended period of time, don't worry, I've left the building.  I'll be back.

Or I'm in my apartment, dancing and making vegan ice cream.  Also a true story.