Reasons Why I Need A Vespa

Reason #1.

I will pose like this on my Vespa.

That's a joke.  Maybe not.  You know me.

I want a Vespa so bad.  I've never wanted anything more in my life.  That's a lie and a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm trying to get my point across here.

I'm not a hipster, I don't live in Portland and I for sure am not an economically thinking person.  So why on earth do I want a Vespa so bad?  Why do I need this Vespa?  Let me tell you.

I retract that first reason and am starting over.

Reason #1 - How Adorable Would I Be?
Let's get real - there's nothing more adorable and endearing than a 6' redhead on a scooter.  There also might not be anything scarier than that.  On a serious note, I would be adorable.  I would probably be the talk of the Piney Woods of East Texas.  Picture it.

Reason #2 - It's Economical.
That really is a no-brainer.  These suckers get a solid 80 miles per gallon.  Granted, it probably only holds one to two gallons of gas, but I don't even drive 80 miles a week in this town.  Seriously.  Wait, come to think of it, I don't drive at all.

Reason #3 - Zooey Deschanel.
We all know I have the biggest girl crush on Zooey Deschanel.  I kind of think we're the same person.  I also kind of think she's the type of gal who would own a Vespa.

Reason #4 - Parking.
I'm pretty sure Vespas have the right to motorcycle parking.  I also believe that Vespas have the right to sidewalk parking.  Probably not, but I'd make it happen.

Reason #5 - I'm So European.
I'm really not.  I'm actually so Texan, y'all.  However, for when I go to Europre, what if I'm faced with the obstacle of my only mode of transportation is a scooter.  I don't want to be ill-prepared.  I want to be able to drive that scooter like the rest and not be labeled "That stupid American who can't drive scooters.  I spit on her driving abilities!"

Reason #5 - My Mom Said I Could.
I don't really need to elaborate on that, now do I?

Reason #6 - Balance.
This would teach me excellent balance.  Balance is a trait, or ability, that everyone needs to be skilled in.  Granted, I can already ride a bike so I don't think there's much more learning to be done when it comes to balance.  Maybe it will teach me not to ride into stationary vehicles, circa 1994 when I rode my bike into the church van.  The church van that was in park.

Reason #7 - It's A Conversation Starter.
Rachel and I already decided it will be best to park my Vespa in the living room.  What a conversation piece!  Someone comes over, maybe someone who hasn't been in our super-awesome loft before, and they say "Hey, what's that about?"  And then Rachel says "Oh!  That's my super-awesome roommate's Vespa!  It's super-awesome isn't it?"

Reason #8 - Grocery Shopping.
Now, you may see this as negative, Shawn, but I do not.  I see this as a good way to not buy too much at the grocery store.  Actually, I see this as a good way to not go out and buy too much of anything because, hey, there's no place to store all of that stuff!

Reason #9 - Helmets.
I can have a collection of super-awesome helmets to match my super-awesome Vespa.  I'll be able to walk into a bar with my helmet, and when I'm asked "You have a bike?"  I can say, "I have a Vespa."

Reason #10 - Did I Mention How Adorable I Would Be?
Just picture me on my little Vespa with my backpack.  So cute, I can hardly stand it!

My choice of Vespa is a yellow one.  I want a little yellow Vespa.  One that preferably goes over 40 mph.  I'm kind of afraid of the Vespas that go over 80 mph.  That's like a Smart Car trying to go 80 mph.  Don't they poof into dust when that happens?

Anyways, seriously, a yellow Vespa named Bee.  I'll wear a black helmet and just buzz around town listening to She & Him because that's Zooey Deschanel's band and I love her.