The Greatest Female Role Model Of All Time

Everyone has a role model.  If you can't think of one, don't worry, I've got one for you. Mother Teresa?  No.  Oprah?  No.  Angelina Jolie?  Seriously?  No.

No, the greatest role model of all time, for women at least, is none other than Becky "The Icebox" O'Shea.

The last time we saw The Icebox, she was selling a play-action run which set up the game-winning Annexation of Puerto Rico touchdown.  The Icebox isn't doing that anymore, but we won't talk about that.  I found out the hard way doing a Google image search.  Apparently The Icebox decided to get naked once.

I Digress.

I loved The Icebox.  Not only did she kick ass in football, she totally ended up being Junior Floyd's girlfriend.  So, I guess I loved her and envied her.  Seriously, this girl was a total slob and tomboy and she still got the guy.  Hero.

Who says girls can't play middle-linebacker?  Heisman trophy winning turned pee-wee coach Kevin O'Shea, that's who.  I could not figure out Kevin O'Shea's logic, though.  The Icebox knocked that fat kid with the PB&J in his helmet out cold.  Everyone knows that girls are bigger than boys at that age.  Why didn't Kevin want her out there knocking off heads? No one wants to see that mack truck cheerleading anyway.  

I wanted to be The Icebox.  I think I wanted that because my brothers played football and I thought they would like me more if I also played.  I don't know why I thought that.  Who likes their baby sister for any reason?

When she got a crush on QB Junior Floyd, her career went on hiatus.  I blame her cousin for making The Icebox feel less like a girl.  Peer pressure is not the answer, but don't worry guys, The Icebox does overcome.  The Icebox dabbles in cheerleading for a bit until Hall of Famer, someone check his birth certificate, Spike Hammersmith takes out Junior after the play was over.  It was time for The Icebox to suit up.

Long story short, she knocked out Spike, sets up the Annexation of Puerto Rico thanks to the nerd, and The Little Giants win.

"Stick a fork in em baby, they're done."  - Kevin O'Shea.

So why is The Icebox the greatest role model of all time?  Because she decided that she didn't need to pretend to be something she's not in order to impress Junior Floyd, or anyone else for that matter.  Did I mention she's a mack truck and could probably murder you on the field?

She also turned out like this:

That just goes to show, that the tomboy can turn out looking like that.  I'd like to say that's what happened to me, right?

Right.