I Used To Be Witty

Last night I dreamt I was writing a blog about "Last night I dreamt..."  That's not the point or relevant to this blog, but I thought you should know.  I even dream about this thing.

I Digress.

Remember when I used to write witty, smart-assy, funny, and insightful all at the same time blogs?  I don't know what happened to those days.  Wait, I do know what happened: I hate sitting at a computer.  I hate sitting with my laptop in front of me.  The iPad is another story. I love that thing.

Computer screens hurt my eyes.  It's that simple.  I firmly believe there has been a rise in corrective lenses in the past 20 years because of computer use.  I don't have statistics because I'm going on a whim.  I am the statistic.  Dara, now Dara, has the closest thing to 20/20 vision of anyone I know.  She sits at two computers all day at work and she can still see clear as day.  Moral of the story?  Be more like Dara.

It's the whole technology circus.  Technology has had the greatest impact on mankind over any other factor.  It has to be true.  I'm using technology to write this blog.  There is no way that I could get around using technology to get this out to you.  Now, if I had an old-school typewriter (every time I type typewriter I think of how it's the longest word typed out using only the top set of keys on your keyboard), I would write blogs and books all day, every day.  Why?  Because I love typewriters and they sound cool.  That's not the point.

Check that out.  Fantastic. 

The point is, I could type a blog on a typewriter, but then I would have to scan it, send it to the computer, sit at the computer, open the PDF, and copy and paste it into this space.  I can't get around it.  You can't get around it.  I could type out the blog multiple times and hand deliver it to you guys, but I don't love anyone that much to do that much work.

I'm not going to be all anti-technology and attest to the fact that I don't need it or want to use it.  Because that would be a lie.  I take my Blackberry with me everywhere.  I realize that a Blackberry isn't real technology.  One day I am going to get out of 2006 and join the rest of the Apple world, so stop making fun of me.  The point is, the Crackberry is with me all the time.  I use it to Google things when I am having an argument.  Sometimes I use the GPS.

If it weren't for technology, God only knows where I would be right now.  If we didn't have GPS, I would either still be lost at this very moment from a trip I probably embarked on two years ago, or I'd be dead.  There's no alternative.  I don't read maps and I don't handle directions very well.  Why?  Because I'm a woman, and I'm OK with saying that.

My point is maybe, just maybe, we rely on that awesome thing called technology too much. Or maybe more accurately put, we use it too much.  I'm afraid my kids aren't going to know how to sharpen a pencil or even know what one is.  I'm going to raise my kids to write, with their hands.  I have the handwriting equivalent to an eight-year-old boy, but that doesn't mean I will pass that gene down.  I don't want my kid to think he/she needs the iPhone 17 when he/she is 12 years old.  Not happening, kid.  Go outside.  Rub some dirt in those tears.

I'm just saying.  Stand up straight, go outside and get a tan.  Or buy a Blackberry.  You won't want to use technology.  I think that's what my problem is...