I Don't Give Dating Advice ~ Love & Other Blogs

Unrelated: I started watching "Breaking Bad" because apparently it's the greatest show on television. I also accidentally saw a spoiler and was all "well now I need to figure out how we got here..." So I conformed to society and starting watching it. I'm only in Season 2, but here's what I've gathered so far:

Meth is bad and this show does not glamorize it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't like Walt and I don't know if I'm not supposed to like him. Should I feel bad about not liking him?
I have a crush on Jesse Pinkman and I'm really torn about it. I get it - he's a drug dealer and a druggie and he wears baggie clothes and beanies, whatever, there's something about him. Oh my gosh, it's his eyes and the way he treated that little ginger boy. I get it now.
You can say that on AMC!?

And that's about it. I Digress.

I don't think I have anything on the agenda for work today. It's going to be a long Friday. Since I've obviously got the time, I'm going to take it write this.

I've noticed lately that my social media (Facebook, Twitter, even Pinterest - I'm back on that thing. I really need to just make my own storage ottoman...) is filling up with dating and being single posts. What dating should be, who "the one" is, why it is the way it is, blah blah. There must be something in the water because I am seeing it everywhere every day.

If you had asked me a year ago if I would still be single today, I would have told you "heck yes." I have since lived up to those expectations for myself. I would have said "heck yes" because I knew that it was a necessity to work on my relationship with God and my life as a Christian, but also because I hate dating and apparently that's the way relationships start. Something like that. I don't make the rules. Wait, yes I do. The only relationships I have right now are with God, my family, friends, running shoes, and carbohydrates.

In the last year of being a single lady, I have gone on a few dates. After every date, I have had this reaction: "Ugh!" And then I go to Dara's apartment and we say "UGH!" together. And then I ignore the situation and Robert thinks up apps to send out "break-up" text messages, and we sit around the table at dinner and laugh over 90s music. Good times, you guys.

All of this is coming from a girl listening to Justin Timberlake's The 20/20 Experience and once that's over I transition into John Mayer's cornucopia of music. You may not need to take my advice on anything right now.

I don't like dating because I believe God intended for me to not like it, and because the concept of dating has conformed to my generation. My generation is filled with people who fear rejection and want to hide behind technology because that way your vulnerability isn't tested. Your vulnerability isn't out there for someone to see.

When my parents met in the late 70s, I imagine my dad was like, "You want to go to dinner?" And my mother was thinking, "Ugh, as if." But really she said yes and now she's been with my dad for over 34 years and they have four children who look and act just like my dad. How my mother didn't go clinically insane from 1986-1998 when all of us were in one house is still a mystery. Jean is the toughest and bravest woman I know.

My parents met because they saw each other at some point and thought, "well I can talk to them." They didn't have the Internet (hello, Al Gore?) to put only the things that would make them appealing in an "About Me" section. My parents, and your parents too, had to exchange words via their voices and ask about each other. Heck, my sister met her husband in a gym, my oldest brother met his wife in a gym. I'm afraid of gyms. That's not happening.

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong. Online dating works for a lot of people and a lot of people I know. It just doesn't work for this person.

I'm the type of person who wants to know what someone sounds like, how tall they really are, and what they really look like before I go out with them. I don't want to be asked out based on what you see in my profile. Because that's exactly what it is - it's a profile. It's something that I put together showcasing what I find to be interesting about me. Things that show I'm educated and smart. Topped off with funny quips and pictures that I believe make me look attractive and that I lead the most interesting of lives.

Which is all true. Not to come off as cocky, but I do believe I'm smart, interesting and funny. I do believe that I lead a fun life. I do believe that I am attractive. I want someone to literally see that in me from across a room. I want someone to see that in me because they've already talked to me before. I don't want someone to read it. I want someone to experience it and then move forward.

I understand the whole fearing rejection and it's easier to handle when someone just doesn't respond to your email. I totally get that. I used to be the queen of fearing rejection. I used to get anxiety over it. But then I actually received what I'd like to believe the "Ultimate Rejection" last year and you know what, I survived. My life didn't end. I made it out alive. I learned that, meh, it's just rejection.

I was talking to Dara about this the other night, I will no longer conform to the idea of what my generation's idea of dating should be. I will not do online dating. I want a guy to muster it up, ask me out face-to-face, and understand that I am going to say one of two things: "Yes" or "No." And then he'll pick me up in a horse and carriage and ask "Where doth thou fairest maiden request to dine?"

No.

But seriously, why not just let your vulnerabilities hang out there? Instead of only putting part of yourself out there in a profile to lure someone in, why not put all of yourself out there in person to be 100% honest from the get-go. They're going to find it all out anyway. Besides, I'm 5'11 3/4" and you can't put that on a profile. And pictures do not do justice for my hair...